Interpersonal Communication Skills: Meaning, List and Examples
By Michael Lee, communication and relationship coach Last updated
Interpersonal communication skills are the abilities a person uses to exchange messages, feelings, and meaning with another person face to face or in real time, such as active listening, empathy, clarity, and nonverbal awareness. Interpersonal communication skills sit where communication skills, the skills of sending and receiving messages, meet interpersonal skills, the skills of building relationships. A conversation with a partner, a talk with a manager, and a chat with a new friend all depend on the same small set of skills in interpersonal communication. The guide below lists 20 interpersonal communication skills with examples and explains how each skill works at work, in nursing, and in relationships.
What Are Interpersonal Communication Skills?
Interpersonal communication skills are the verbal, nonverbal, listening, and emotional abilities that make a conversation between 2 or a few people clear, warm, and productive. Interpersonal communication is the exchange of information, ideas, and feelings between 2 or more people through verbal and nonverbal messages. Interpersonal communication skills combine verbal and nonverbal communication with listening and emotional skill. Interpersonal communication skills belong to the group of soft skills, meaning social and emotional abilities that apply across jobs and relationships. Brian Spitzberg and William Cupach described interpersonal communication competence in 1984 as communication that is both effective and appropriate. Psychologist Howard Gardner named interpersonal intelligence in the 1983 book Frames of Mind and described interpersonal intelligence as the capacity to understand the intentions, motivations, and desires of other people. The interpersonal communication skills in the list below turn that capacity into everyday behavior.
What Are Two Interpersonal Communication Skills?
The answer to what are the interpersonal communication skills starts with 2 basics. The 2 most basic interpersonal communication skills are listening and speaking clearly, because every conversation needs a message that lands and a listener who understands the message. Listening covers attention, patience, and the habit of checking understanding. Clear speaking covers simple words, a clear main point, and a tone that fits the moment. Interpersonal communication uses 4 forms: verbal, nonverbal, written, and listening. Listening and clear speaking support all 4 forms.
What Are Communication and Interpersonal Skills?
Communication and interpersonal skills are the combined abilities to share information clearly and to build good working and personal relationships, and employers often list the 2 together in job postings. Job descriptions use phrases such as “strong communication and interpersonal skills” for roles in customer service, healthcare, sales, education, and management. Interpersonal and communication skills work as a pair: a clear message needs trust to land, and trust needs clear messages to grow. Interpersonal skills communication therefore covers both the content of a message and the relationship around the message. The question of what are interpersonal and communication skills therefore has a simple answer: the skills that make people both understood and trusted. Recruiters treat interpersonal skills/communication skills as 1 group, because both groups predict how well a new hire works with colleagues and customers.
What Is the Difference Between Interpersonal Skills and Communication Skills?
Communication skills focus on sending and receiving messages clearly, while interpersonal skills focus on building and keeping good relationships, and interpersonal communication skills sit where the 2 overlap. A manager with strong communication skills but weak interpersonal skills gives clear instructions that the team resents. A manager with strong interpersonal skills but weak communication skills earns warmth but leaves the team confused. The comparison of interpersonal vs communication skills, also searched as communication vs interpersonal skills, shows why employers want both. Interpersonal communication vs interpersonal skills follows the same logic: interpersonal communication is the exchange, and interpersonal skills are the abilities behind the exchange. The table compares the 3 skill sets.
| Aspect | Communication skills | Interpersonal skills | Interpersonal communication skills |
|---|---|---|---|
| Main focus | Clear messages | Good relationships | Clear and warm exchanges between people |
| Typical examples | Writing, presenting, explaining | Teamwork, patience, reliability | Active listening, empathy, feedback |
| Setting | Any channel, including mass media | Any relationship over time | Real-time conversations between 2 or a few people |
| Sign of success | The audience understands the message | People trust and like working together | Both people feel understood and know the next step |
20 Interpersonal Communication Skills
The 20 core interpersonal communication skills are active listening, empathy, clarity, nonverbal awareness, tone of voice, asking good questions, giving feedback, receiving feedback, assertiveness, conflict management, emotional intelligence, respect, rapport building, small talk, self-disclosure, storytelling, adaptability, patience, expressing appreciation, and repairing misunderstandings. Skills 1 to 11 form the core of effective interpersonal communication skills, from active listening skills to giving and receiving feedback. Skills 12 to 15 build relationships, and skills 16 to 20 refine the craft of conversation.
1. Active Listening
Active listening confirms understanding through full attention, paraphrasing, and clarifying questions. Psychologists Carl Rogers and Richard Farson introduced the term “active listening” in 1957. A 2014 study by Harry Weger and colleagues found that people who received active listening responses felt more understood than people who received advice or simple acknowledgments. An active listener puts the phone away, waits for the speaker to finish, and says “So the main worry is the deadline?” before replying. A partner who feels heard in a tense talk relaxes, and the conversation moves toward a solution.
2. Empathy
Empathy recognizes the other person’s emotions and responds to each emotion with care. Cognitive empathy understands what another person thinks, while emotional empathy shares what another person feels. An empathetic reply names the feeling first, such as “That sounds exhausting,” and offers help second. A manager who notices a quiet employee after a hard week and asks “How are things going?” builds more trust than a manager who jumps straight to the task list. Friends rely on empathy most during bad news, illness, and loss.
3. Clarity
Clarity delivers the main point in simple, precise words. A clear speaker states the purpose first, uses short sentences, and cuts details that the listener does not need. Unclear language, such as vague requests and hidden expectations, causes many everyday misunderstandings. A clear request names the action, the person, and the time, such as “Can you send the report by 3 p.m. on Friday?” At home, a clear statement such as “I need 30 quiet minutes after work” prevents hours of guessing.
4. Nonverbal Awareness
Nonverbal awareness aligns posture, eye contact, and tone with the spoken message. Nonverbal communication includes body language, facial expressions, gestures, and personal space, and each channel sends signals during a conversation. Psychologist Albert Mehrabian’s 1967 studies produced the popular 7-38-55 ratio, but the ratio applies only to messages about feelings and attitudes when words and tone conflict, not to all communication. A listener with nonverbal awareness notices crossed arms or a forced smile and checks in gently. A speaker who turns toward a friend, keeps relaxed eye contact, and uncrosses the arms looks open and interested.
5. Tone of Voice
Tone of voice carries the emotion behind the words, so calm, warm, or firm tones change how the same sentence lands. Pace, pitch, volume, and pauses make up the vocal side of a message, also called paralanguage. The sentence “Fine, do it your way” sounds supportive in a warm tone and hostile in a clipped tone. A speaker who lowers the volume and slows down during a disagreement signals calm. Phone and video calls depend on tone even more, because listeners see fewer nonverbal cues.
6. Asking Good Questions
Asking good questions keeps a conversation moving and shows genuine interest in the other person. Open questions start with “what,” “how,” or “why” and invite a story, while closed questions invite a yes or a no. A 2017 Harvard study by Karen Huang and colleagues found that conversation partners, including partners in speed-dating conversations, liked people who asked more follow-up questions. A follow-up question such as “What made that trip so special?” shows real attention. Managers use the same skill in one-on-ones, and new friends use the skill at parties.
7. Giving Feedback
Giving feedback delivers a specific observation about a behavior and the behavior’s impact without attacking the person. The Center for Creative Leadership developed the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model to keep feedback factual and specific. A manager using the SBI model says “In Monday’s meeting, the report arrived late, and the client waited 1 hour.” Specific praise works the same way, such as “Your summary at the start of the call saved the team 20 minutes.” Partners and friends also give better feedback when the feedback describes 1 behavior instead of a whole personality.
8. Receiving Feedback
Receiving feedback means hearing criticism calmly, asking for an example, and thanking the speaker before responding. Feedback skills deliver specific observations and receive criticism without defensiveness. Defensiveness, such as explaining, blaming, or counterattacking, ends the conversation before the useful part arrives. A good receiver says “Thanks for telling me. Can you give me 1 example?” and takes time to think before answering. Employees who receive feedback well grow faster, and partners who receive feedback well fight less.
9. Assertiveness
Assertiveness expresses personal needs clearly while respecting the needs of the other person. Passive communication hides needs, aggressive communication ignores the needs of others, and assertive communication respects both sides. MTD Training describes the STAR model of interpersonal skill: sensitivity, tolerance, assertion, and restraint. An “I” statement, such as “I feel rushed when plans change on Friday, and I need 2 days’ notice,” states a need without blame. Assertiveness helps employees set workload limits and helps friends say no without guilt.
10. Conflict Management
Conflict management identifies the source of a disagreement and guides both people toward a shared solution. Strong conflict management separates the person from the problem, lets each side explain without interruption, and ends with a clear next step. Most conflicts grow from unmet needs, different expectations, or misunderstandings, not from bad intentions. Two coworkers who argue about a deadline agree faster once each coworker explains the pressure behind the position. Couples use the same steps to turn a recurring argument into a plan.
11. Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence manages personal emotions during tense conversations. Psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer defined emotional intelligence in 1990, and Daniel Goleman popularized the concept in 1995. Emotional intelligence includes self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skill. A person with high emotional intelligence notices rising anger, pauses, and chooses a calm reply instead of a sharp one. Emotional intelligence keeps a heated meeting productive and keeps a family argument from turning into a fight.
12. Respect and Open-Mindedness
Respect and open-mindedness treat the other person’s view as worth hearing, even during disagreement. A respectful listener avoids interrupting, talking over others, or finishing sentences for the speaker. Openness to new ideas also supports joint problem-solving. An open-minded listener checks assumptions with a question such as “What do you mean by ’soon’?” instead of guessing. Respect shows in small habits, such as using names, keeping promises, and arriving on time. Teams with mutual respect share ideas more freely, and friendships with mutual respect survive disagreements.
13. Rapport Building
Rapport building creates a feeling of ease and trust between 2 people through shared interests, warmth, and matching energy. Rapport often starts with common ground, such as a shared hometown, a hobby, or a funny moment. Natural mirroring of posture, pace, and energy signals connection, while forced mirroring feels fake. A salesperson who learns about a client’s goals before the pitch builds rapport. A new coworker who remembers a colleague’s weekend plans and asks about the weekend on Monday builds rapport too.
14. Small Talk
Small talk opens conversations with light, safe topics and creates a path to deeper conversation. The FORD method gives 4 easy topics for small talk: family, occupation, recreation, and dreams. Good small talk moves from a light question to a follow-up question that invites a story. A guest at a party who asks “How do you know the host?” and then “What do you enjoy most about that work?” opens a real conversation. Small talk starts networking contacts, friendships, and first dates.
15. Self-Disclosure
Self-disclosure shares personal thoughts and feelings step by step, and balanced self-disclosure deepens trust in a relationship. Psychologists Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor described social penetration theory in 1973: relationships deepen as 2 people share more personal information over time. Healthy self-disclosure is gradual and reciprocal, so each person shares at a similar pace. Sharing too much too soon feels uncomfortable, while sharing nothing feels distant. A colleague who admits nerves before a presentation invites support, and a date who shares a real hope invites a real answer.
16. Storytelling
Storytelling turns a point into a short story with a situation, a problem, and an outcome, so listeners remember the message. A story gives the listener a person to follow and a reason to care. A team leader who explains a new process through the story of 1 customer’s problem wins more attention than a list of rules. Friends share weekend stories with a clear beginning, a twist, and an ending. Good storytellers keep stories short and invite the listener to share a story back.
17. Adaptability
Adaptability adjusts words, tone, and channel to the listener, the setting, and the mood of the moment. A skilled communicator explains the same idea differently to a child, a client, and an expert. Adaptability also covers channel choice: sensitive news belongs in a call or a meeting, not in a chat message. A manager who notices that an employee prefers written notes sends a short summary after each talk. Adaptable communicators connect with people from different ages, cultures, and backgrounds.
18. Patience
Patience gives the other person time to think, finish a sentence, and explain a problem without pressure. Patient listeners tolerate silence and resist the urge to fill every pause. Restraint, the last part of the STAR model, keeps a listener from reacting before the speaker finishes. A nurse who waits while a worried patient searches for words learns more than a nurse who rushes to the next question. Parents, teachers, and trainers rely on patience every day.
19. Expressing Appreciation
Expressing appreciation names a specific action and the action’s effect, which makes people feel seen and valued. Specific thanks, such as “Thanks for covering my shift, because I made it to my son’s game,” means more than a quick “thanks.” John Gottman’s research at the University of Washington found that stable couples maintain about 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction during conflict. Regular appreciation keeps the ratio healthy at home and at work and builds a positive attitude in teams. Teams that thank each other often report higher morale and stronger trust.
20. Repairing Misunderstandings
Repairing misunderstandings notices a crossed wire early, owns any part of the confusion, and restates the message. Most misunderstandings come from assumptions, unclear language, or mixed nonverbal signals. A repair sounds like “I think I explained that badly. What I meant was…” or “Let me check that I understood you.” John Gottman calls such moves repair attempts and found that repair attempts help couples recover from tense moments. Quick repairs keep small misunderstandings from growing into conflicts.
What Are Examples of Interpersonal Communication Skills?
Examples of interpersonal communication skills include paraphrasing a teammate’s idea in a meeting, naming a customer’s frustration before solving the problem, and asking a date a curious follow-up question. Interpersonal communication skills examples show each skill as a real behavior in a real setting.
- In a team discussion, a team member paraphrases a colleague’s idea before adding a new point, which shows active listening.
- In a feedback talk, a manager describes 1 specific behavior and the behavior’s impact, which shows clear feedback.
- During a disagreement, a coworker says “I see the deadline worries you” before explaining a different view, which shows empathy and respect.
- In a customer conversation, a support agent names the customer’s frustration and explains the next step in plain words, which shows clarity and empathy.
- On a first date, a person asks a follow-up question about a story and shares a similar experience, which shows interest and balanced self-disclosure.
- At a family dinner, a parent waits for a teenager to finish a long story before giving advice, which shows patience.
Examples of communication and interpersonal skills, also called interpersonal and communication skills examples, appear every day, so every conversation offers a chance to practice.
Why Are Interpersonal Communication Skills Important?
Interpersonal communication skills matter, because relationships, teamwork, customer trust, and career growth all depend on how well 2 people understand each other. Grammarly’s State of Business Communication report estimated that poor communication costs businesses in the United States $1.2 trillion a year. LinkedIn named communication the most in-demand skill in the 2024 Most In-Demand Skills list. The importance of interpersonal communication skills reaches beyond work, because the Harvard Study of Adult Development, running since 1938, found that close relationships predict health and happiness better than wealth or fame. Strong interpersonal communication skills build close relationships 1 conversation at a time.
What Do Excellent Communication and Interpersonal Skills Look Like?
Excellent communication and interpersonal skills look like calm, clear, and warm conversations in which people feel heard, understand the next step, and trust the speaker. Strong communication and interpersonal skills show in patterns across many conversations, not in a single event. People with excellent interpersonal communication skills show 6 common signs.
- Other people leave conversations feeling understood, not judged.
- Requests and decisions end with a clear next step and a named owner.
- Disagreements stay respectful and end with agreement or a plan.
- Feedback arrives specific, timely, and kind.
- Tone and body language match the words.
- The person adapts the message to each listener and each setting.
How Do You Show Communication and Interpersonal Skills on a Resume?
A candidate shows communication and interpersonal skills on a resume by pairing each skill with a result, such as “Resolved 30 customer complaints a week with a 95% satisfaction score.” The work experience section carries the strongest proof, because each bullet shows a skill in action. The skills section lists 3 to 5 interpersonal communication skills that match the job posting. The resume summary names 1 or 2 skills with a short result. Figures in resume examples serve as illustrations, so every real resume uses real numbers.
How Do Interpersonal Communication Skills Work in the Workplace?
Interpersonal communication skills in the workplace shape meetings, one-on-ones, feedback talks, customer conversations, and teamwork across departments. Each role uses a different mix of skills.
- Managers use active listening, feedback, and empathy in one-on-ones and performance reviews.
- Customer service agents use patience, clarity, and empathy to calm upset customers.
- Sales representatives use rapport building, questions, and storytelling to understand client needs.
- Team members use assertiveness and conflict management to share workloads fairly.
- Remote workers use adaptability and clear writing to choose the right channel for each message.
Interpersonal communication skills in the workplace also reduce rework, because clear conversations prevent the misunderstandings that cause repeated tasks.
Why Do Nurses Need Interpersonal Communication Skills?
Nurses need interpersonal communication skills, because clear and compassionate conversations help patients understand care, reduce anxiety, and keep handoffs safe. Interpersonal communication skills in nursing include active listening, concise verbal communication, patience, relationship building, and conflict resolution. The SBAR tool, short for Situation, Background, Assessment, and Recommendation, gives nurses a clear structure for handoffs and calls to doctors. The Joint Commission, which accredits hospitals in the United States, has identified communication failures as a leading cause of serious patient-safety events. A nurse who explains a treatment plan in plain words and checks understanding helps patients follow the plan.
How Do Interpersonal Communication Skills Work in Relationships?
Interpersonal communication skills in relationships show in how partners, friends, and family members listen, share feelings, handle conflict, and repair after an argument. John Gottman’s research describes small “bids” for connection, such as a comment, a question, or a touch, and partners who turn toward the bids build stronger relationships. Social penetration theory explains how gradual self-disclosure moves a new friendship or a new romance from small talk to real closeness. Assertiveness lets each partner state needs without blame, and repair attempts end arguments before the arguments damage trust. In dating, curious questions and honest interest matter more than clever lines. In families, patience and appreciation keep daily conversations warm.
How Can You Improve Interpersonal Communication Skills?
Interpersonal communication skills improve through deliberate practice of 1 skill at a time, honest feedback from trusted people, and reflection after important conversations. Practice, feedback, and reflection answer the common assignment to list three ways a person strengthens interpersonal communication skills. Daily practice of 1 specific skill, such as paraphrasing, turns the skill into a habit. Feedback from friends and colleagues reveals blind spots in tone, clarity, and listening. Reflection after important conversations identifies the moments that went well and the moments that went wrong. Observation of a respected manager, teacher, or friend shows how strong interpersonal communication sounds and looks. Conversations with people from different backgrounds build adaptability and confidence. The best way to improve interpersonal communication combines all 5 methods in a steady weekly routine.
Does Interpersonal Communication Skills Training Work?
Interpersonal communication skills training works when the program includes role-play, feedback, and practice spread over several weeks. A 2011 meta-analysis by Jürgen Barth and Patricia Lannen, published in the Annals of Oncology, combined 13 trials of communication training for healthcare professionals and found a moderate effect on communication behavior (effect size 0.54). Intensive training for improving interpersonal communication skills works best with real scenarios, such as a hard conversation with a partner or a difficult client call. Short lectures without practice change knowledge more than behavior.
How Does Coach Michael Lee Teach Interpersonal Communication Skills?
Coach Michael Lee teaches interpersonal communication skills through The Connection Science, a method that treats human connection as a learnable skill for dating, friendship, and work. A free introduction video explains The Connection Science and how the method works. A free community shares 1 in-depth teaching video every week, plus practical lessons for real situations. The Intensive offers the deepest one-on-one work with Coach Michael Lee for people who want to become exceptionally good with people. The next step is simple: join the Intensive and start practicing.
How Do Interpersonal Communication Skills Fit Interpersonal Communication?
Interpersonal communication skills turn interpersonal communication, the exchange of messages between 2 or more people, into clear and warm conversations. The guide to interpersonal communication explains the definition, types, principles, and theories behind every conversation between 2 people. The broader interpersonal skills add teamwork, patience, and reliability to the 20 interpersonal communication skills in the list. Together, the 2 guides show both the process of interpersonal communication and the abilities that make the process work.
Which Communication Skills Overlap With Interpersonal Skills?
Active listening, clarity, empathy, and feedback overlap between the 10 essential communication skills and the core interpersonal skills. The core communication skills cover the full set of abilities for sending and receiving messages. Real-world communication skills examples show how each skill looks in emails, meetings, and conversations. The overlap explains why practice in 1 area improves the other area as well. A person who practices active listening for work also listens better at home.
How Do Daily Exercises Build Interpersonal Communication Skills?
Daily exercises build interpersonal communication skills, because short, repeated practice turns each skill into a habit. The step-by-step guide on how to improve communication skills sets out a weekly plan. The full list of communication exercises includes paraphrase practice, FORD small talk practice, and role-play for difficult conversations. A 10-minute exercise each day builds more skill than an occasional long session.
How Do Training and Coaching Speed Up Progress?
Training and coaching speed up progress, because a trainer or a coach gives feedback on real conversations. The guide to communication skills training compares courses, workshops, and other formats with typical costs. The guide to communication coaching explains what a coach does and how one-on-one sessions work. Feedback from an expert reveals habits that self-practice misses. A short course gives the foundations, and coaching adapts the skills to personal goals.
How Do Interpersonal Communication Skills Build Confidence?
Interpersonal communication skills build confidence, because each practiced skill turns an uncertain conversation into a familiar one. The guide on how to communicate with confidence covers 35 ways to build a steady voice and firm words. People who feel nervous talking to people find 33 ways to calm the body and the mind before and during a conversation. Confidence and interpersonal communication skills grow together with every conversation.
Why Do Interpersonal Communication Skills Make Communication Effective?
Interpersonal communication skills make communication effective, because listening, empathy, and clarity remove the barriers between what a speaker means and what a listener hears. Effective communication means that the receiver understands the message the way the sender intended. The common barriers to communication include psychological, emotional, perceptual, and language barriers, and each interpersonal communication skill removes at least 1 barrier. Interpersonal communication skills improve every part of communication, from a quick chat to a hard talk at home. More guides on communication are available in the Knowledge Hub.